When in the past, we'll argue about the possibility of The One; the mythical embodiment of happiness whom we're somehow destined to meet, you've recently convinced me that our love together was a matter of timely convenience.
It's as if Fate asked me for my number at a club and didn't call after that. Maybe it got distracted somewhere and didn't get through to calling somehow, but that didn't stop me from hoping on those empty nights for the fortuitous encounter, to breath in the anticipation of a life I've dreamed, a person I've always wanted to be with. Which is why I'd hate to think that all we worked for so far meant nothing against the test of time. Even if The One wasn't a person, wasn't you, it could at least be the process of learning and loving you through the ages. To think that I was so optimistic then.
Yet people only accept the love they think they deserve.
Read both ways, I guess I'm no longer good enough for you anymore at this point in your life, my once cherished idealism now a tiring stain on your desire for stability. I am also not worthy of the affection that's been laid upon me by others, because I'm at my most self-destructive state now.
I used to foolishly think that some things will always remain the same; your priorities, how we loved, my hopes, how you saw the both of us. The fact is - people change; they grow out of their earlier selves, their nestled troubles digging deeper, and yet they're also more at ease and adept at managing their inadequacies without being apologetic.
So you were wrong when you thought I could never change for our sake, because I'm a different person now in the time we've been apart. I may be stronger, but these grey days have also made me bitter, because my pride wouldn't allow me to think you'd be that selfish to throw everything away, just like that.
I hope he's worth every tear you've shed for the ocean you've put between us.
It's as if Fate asked me for my number at a club and didn't call after that. Maybe it got distracted somewhere and didn't get through to calling somehow, but that didn't stop me from hoping on those empty nights for the fortuitous encounter, to breath in the anticipation of a life I've dreamed, a person I've always wanted to be with. Which is why I'd hate to think that all we worked for so far meant nothing against the test of time. Even if The One wasn't a person, wasn't you, it could at least be the process of learning and loving you through the ages. To think that I was so optimistic then.
Yet people only accept the love they think they deserve.
Read both ways, I guess I'm no longer good enough for you anymore at this point in your life, my once cherished idealism now a tiring stain on your desire for stability. I am also not worthy of the affection that's been laid upon me by others, because I'm at my most self-destructive state now.
I used to foolishly think that some things will always remain the same; your priorities, how we loved, my hopes, how you saw the both of us. The fact is - people change; they grow out of their earlier selves, their nestled troubles digging deeper, and yet they're also more at ease and adept at managing their inadequacies without being apologetic.
So you were wrong when you thought I could never change for our sake, because I'm a different person now in the time we've been apart. I may be stronger, but these grey days have also made me bitter, because my pride wouldn't allow me to think you'd be that selfish to throw everything away, just like that.
I know I haven't been communicating with you as much as I want to, because firstly, I still cannot stop crying when I'm reminded about us. I've been trying very hard to stop it so that I can hang out with you as my casual normal self. And secondly, I don't want to give you false hopes and say/do anything misleading because I don't even know what I want now. Sometimes I have this sinking feeling I'm dragging you and him into a big shit hole with me, and I think maybe I should disappear to stop all this madness. I just don't know what to do until I somehow come up with an answer. I know this SMS is very unconstructive but it's really how I'm feeling.Your words don't cut me anymore.
I hope he's worth every tear you've shed for the ocean you've put between us.
